This whole last week

This whole last week has been quite random...on Monday, I was back till 8, working my ass of, which was great, cos I got a lot done...Tuesday, I paid the price...I had a violent head ache and stayed home, to enjoy the Melbourne Cup on a 68cm pre-curser-to-the-plasma tv. I didn't even know whch horses I drew out of the sweep. The damn donkeys didn't even get anywhere near the top 3, and I think one even gave up well before the line and simply trotted home.

That day was also Diwali. I did go to the Ashram for bhajans etc, and it was fun, cos its probably the last time I'll indulge myself at a puja there.

So then on Wednesday, my emotional roller coaster picked up again, only becasue I finally told the rest of the team of my resignation. I think everyone was like whatever, but quickly returned to a fake face of "Oh my God" etc after a couple of seconds. The entire reaction was quite underwhelming, and to be honest, I was preparing to hand out leaflets and have a seminar on my travels. Thats how I thought people would react, that they would be interested. From their point of view, I guess, this place has been a revloving door, so you know what another who's leaving, even though it may not be to another company. Still leaving.

So then, that reaction continued through till Thursday. By lunch on that day I had enough. I felt quite flat and highly unmotivated, so I thought screw this, and decided to take off some where. I went to the city, and started off at Dymocks on George, and that was really dead - they should probably start refurbish thier store and their image. In this day and age, when you have mega stores like Kinokuniya and Borders, the Dymocks and Angus & Robertsons of this world really have to sharpen their act.

So then, still seeking some inspiration to wake up in the morning, I headed of to Borders. See normally when I'm in such a mood, I could eat something nice, like oportos, or buy something or sit somewhere and take in a view etc. I need inspiration to get me going. Books are also a great source, especially, ones on architecture or interior designing, stuff that is done out of the ordinary, or even pictures. As you may know, I love pictrures, and especially of ordinary Indians - a face can tell you the story of a life time. But I hate routine, I hate doing stuff day in and day out, if I don't need to.

So Borders didn't do it for me, although it did get me closer to where I should have been, what would have given me the lift. A while back at Kinokuniya, I was browsing a through the travel pictorial books, and came across this one on Rajasthan. When one looks at colours, at creases in faces, at Turbans tied distinctly, and think this is their life, this is how they live, how they eat, how they interact, the mind goes into overdrive, imagining a person, a relation, a world, quite unique to one its ever been trained to adopt. Its lifts you from a slumber, gives you renewed hope and vigor, to fight on, to emabrace and accept what you have and be content.

This may all sound like romatic idealism, but its a mood, a frame, and I was back in it. I think, quietly, I've been there for a while now, just not able to express the idea, and in the process, have almost shunned a life I was once accostommed to. Infact I've become quite anti-social, feeling less confident infront of those I'm closest to, deflecting all their queries and living in a world of my own. On occassion I've joked, that in my mind, "I'm hangin out in Jaipur somewhere" but the trusth may not be too far.

I think I am in another world, doing my own thing, being my own anonymous person.

So anyways, Friday, was more of the same. While I did do some work and accomplised a few tasks, it was a waste and only felt like going home and veging out. Which I did, in front of a movie called The Recruit starring Al Pacino, and others. Good, twisted movie about a CIA recruitment drive to expose a mole. Or something. In between, I switched across to About a Boy on channel 10. Hugh Grant is awesome in this dead-pan role, and his character is full of character - he does Nothing for a living!

So then, following the movie, can Punk'd. I reckon Aston Kucher is gay, or is probably treated as a spoilt son by Demi Moore, so the host sucks but the pranks are good. Another great show on MTV is Pimp My Ride. Cars of ordinary kids are done up to reflect their persona. Nice.

Anyways, that brings me to today, and I've found out I can get Robin Hood Prince of Theieves from the Video Ezy at Wenty. Can't wait.