...the most ideal place to meet someone...a likely situation...
opening line: (innocent, concerned tone) hi, this is the first time i've been to a garba and i don't know the steps...can you teach me?
him: oh yes yes ...this i've been doing my village for so many years in garba in gujarat (or he may even say London)
you: oh really? you must be such a pro! can you show me the steps...and please go easy!
him: oh anything for you, anything!!!
and then you dance the night away...
you occasionally stop for a break to have a drink, while he pops his blisters (although if he were a true guju, instead of blisters, they would be polished metal, so he can dance better), while telling you how he milked the cows back at the farm...
the midnight hour strikes and you flee in your mazda 3, and he chases you...you think you escaped until you realise your name is on your number plate...he searches and searches, all to no avail...one evening you go to Taj in Harris park for a quiet meal with the family...as you approach the counter, you find a waiter beaming his crooked teeth at you...they would be bright enough to blind you, but as he opens his mouth, he emits a toxic gas, also known as his breath....the yellow hue of his breath saves your eye sight, but now you're choking in the fumes...he asks "will you want some marry?", but in your terror of the fumes, you think he says "will you want some pani (water in Hindi?)" and you enthusiastically answer "yes, yes, save me!"...he pulls out a ring - kept just for this purpose - from a secret location in nipple high jeans and slips it on your finger all in one motion...at the same time you still yell "water, water", so he gets some water, and splashes it on your head, as a mark of a blessing...you're married the next evening and within 9 months your kid has popped while you lament the late arrival of the monsoons so your crops don't die in the wild gujarati heat...
so maybe you shouldnt go to the garba?
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